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Happened some time ago when late Leonid Brezhnev was still in
charge in Russia and the good old communist party ruled in
Poland. Brezhnev was coming to an official visit and the Polish
Central Committee was planning the celebrations. Says one: "There are
no major works of art in our collections that would show Lenin
visiting Poland. We could order a painting from one of our
contemporary artists, in real socialistic realism style and all, and
unveil it as a highlight of our formal dinner with Brezhnev."
Everybody is cheering. What a wonderful idea! Until the young
colonel Jaruzelski, Committee member and expert in political history,
makes a disappointing remark: "Unfortunately, comrades, I must tell
you that during his most celebrated and honourable life, Lenin never
visited Poland."
Fierce discussion follows. Art must tell the truth, that's
agreed upon, so the artist must not lie to the people by painting a
fictitious situation. Finally, a young and promising painter is
brought in front of the committee, and he surprises everybody by
promising that he can make a painting from the subject "Lenin in
Poland" with nothing fictitious in it.
The great day arrives and Brezhnev's visit is a success. In
the evening, the big formal dinner is held at the Cultural Palace of
Warsaw. The huge, veiled painting hangs on the wall opposite Brezhnev
and Chairman Gierek. Bottles of champagne are prepared, trumpets play
a short and jubilous signal, and the silk-thin veil is dropped to the
floor with a roar of applause...which suddenly dies into a nasty
silence. Some hasty whispers, and the poor artist is most promptly
brought in front of chairman Gierek, who asksm "My comrade, you were
given the subject 'Lenin in Poland.' Could you explain, who is that
young lady in your painting who lies naked on the pillows?"
"Comrade chairman, she is Anna Fjeodorovna, Lenin's wife."
"Oh yes... but who is that greedy-looking bearded fellow who
is kissing her navel?"
"He is Prince Jusupof, the famous Russian Don-Juan from the
beginning of the century."
"But.. BUT WHERE IS LENIN?"
"Comrade Chairman, Lenin is in Poland."
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