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Music Jokes 44

   Jokes section index    Music jokes index
It's Saturday night and the local orchestra is giving a concert, but it's five minutes to curtain and the conductor still hasn't shown. When the assistant manager tells the manager about this, the manager goes berserk. He asks all of the employees if they can conduct, but none of them can. He then goes to the lobby and asks the patrons but doesn't find anyone. He finally goes out on the street and collars passerbys but still can't find anyone who can conduct. In desperation, the assistant manager points to a cat, dog, and horse that are standing in the street. The manager shrugs his shoulders and says, "Why not, what do we have to lose?" He goes to the cat and asks if it can conduct and it meows out, "I don't know but I'll try." The cat tries to stand on its hind legs and wave its paws but it can't keep its balance and falls over immediately. The manager goes to the dog and asks the same thing. The dog barks, "I think I can," but although the dog can keep its balance for a while, it can't stand on its hind legs long enough to last through an entire movement. Finally, the manager asks the horse if it can conduct. The horse just stares at the manager for a second, then turns around and presents its rear quarters and starts swishing its tail in perfect 4/4 time. The manager exclaims, "That's perfect! The concert can go on as scheduled." "But, sir," protests the assistant, "will the orchestra accept a horse as a conductor?" Just then the horse drops a big pile of plop on the street. The manager looks at the plop and then at the horse's rear and says, "Trust me, from this angle, the orchestra won't even know that they have a new conductor."

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