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The conductor of the local opera company was having arm problems and could not make it for the first performance of the weekend. The pit musicians and percussionists were looking at one another wondering what they were going to do. The first violist got up and said, "I've done this show hundreds of times, so I think I can conduct it tonight." Nobody else volunteered, so he went to the podium, took up the baton, and the performance went on without a hitch. The next night, the conductor made it there and the first violist went back to the section. When he sat down, the second violist leaned over and said, "And where were *you* last night?!"
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