| A guy walks into a pet store and asks to buy a canary. The proprietor
replies, "I'm fresh out, but I DO have a parakeet." The customer insists on a
canary, until the shop owner informs him that a parakeet can be made to sound
like a canary if one files the beak just so. "But be careful not to file too
much off or the parakeet will drown when he goes to take a drink of water."
The potential customer decides that this is complete bullshit, but thanks the
shop owner politely and leaves, sans parakeet. He goes into another pet shop
and asks for a canary; no luck. "But", says the shop owner, "I do have a
parakeet and if you file the beak just so, it can be made to sound just like a
canary." He goes on to explain that filing off too much beak will jeopardize
the bird's life, due to the potential for drowning when he takes a drink. The
fellow finally decides that there is some merit to these claims and buys the
parakeet.
"Besides", he thinks to himself, "parakeets are much cheaper." His next stop
is a hardware store, where he wanders into the file section, holding his
recently purchased bird. The owner wanders by and asks of he needs some help.
The new bird owner sheepishly explains how he intends to make his parakeet sing
like a canary. The hardware store owner knowingly picks up a file and hands it
to him. "Here, a Nichols #2 bastard file. But be careful not to file too much
off, or the poor beastie might drown." The bird and file owner thanks the
hardware store owner and leaves for home.
A few weeks later, the bird owner wanders into the hardware store. The owner,
recognizing him and asks how he made out with the parakeet. The fellow looks
down and sadly reports, "Bird's dead."
The hardware store owner shares his sorrow and asks, "Filed off too much
beak?"
To which the former bird owner replies, "Nah, he was dead when I took him out
of the vise."
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