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Bird Jokes 31

   Jokes section index    Bird jokes index
This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, "My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam." She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. "Did you say that?" she asks. "Why, yes, I did!" he replies. "And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you." The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, "You know, I am so proud of you that I believe I'll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?" The parrot says, "Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street." So they arrive home and the lady progresses upstairs to her room to change for dinner, bringing the parrot along, of course. As she takes her dress off, the parrot peers over and says, "Hey, nice tits!" Well, the woman is flabbergasted! She grabs the parrot by the throat, marches down the stairs into the basement, and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. She leaves him there in the freezer for 5 long minutes before taking him back out. The parrot is VERY cold. She says, "Well? Have you learned your lesson? I will NOT tolerate such language in my house!" The parrot says, "Okay, okay, I promise it won't happen again. I am deeply sorry." So they go back upstairs. She begins, again, to change. As she is changing her underwear, the parrot eyes her and says, "Whoooaaa! Nice ASS!" The lady is absolutely stunned. She rips the parrot out of his cage, goes down the stairs, into the cellar, and, SLAM, into the freezer. This time, she leaves him in there for 15 minutes. When she finally takes him out, the parrot is one step away from death. Shivering, light frost on the beak, the whole works. As he thaws, he looks up at the lady and says, "Well, I have one question. That turkey in there, what'd he do, ask for a blow job?"

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