An old guy approaches the window of the movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him.
He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!"
"I'm sorry," The girl tells him. "We can't allow animals in the theater."
The guy goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his pants. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the theater, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his pants so the chicken can stick its head out and watch the movie. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified.
She elbows her friend Myrtle and whispers, "Myrtle, this man over here has just unzipped his pants!"
Myrtle whispers back, "Oh, don't worry about it...you've seen one, you've seen them all."
Agnes says, "I KNOW...but this one's eating my POPCORN!!"