A Good Woman Will Always Say...

1. "You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me."
   

2. "I know it's late and my parents are in the other room... but I still want you right now!"
   
3. "This porno storyline is boring... Fast forward to the gang bang scenes."
   
4. "Don't move over, I kind'a like sleeping in the wet spot."
   
5. "Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up. Here, use my blouse."
   
6. "That was a lot of fun! When will all of your friends be over again to watch pornos?"
   
7. "I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our French maid, Monique."
   
8. "You're my daddy! Oh, yes, you're my daddy!"
   
9. "The new girl in my office used to be a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday."
   
10. "Honey, you forgot to flush the toilet. But it's good to see your so regular!"
    
11. "While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover."
    
12. "Bar food again!? Fabulous!"
    
13. "I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has real style."
    
14. "That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool! I'm gonna go over and compliment her."
    
15. "I love hearing those cute stories about your old girlfriends. Please tell me more."
    
16. "I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentines Day present. Thanks, darling."
    
17. "Let's just leave the toilet seat up at all times. That way you don't have to mess with it anymore."
    
18. "I've decided to get myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?"
    
19. "It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers."
    
20. "Honey come here! Watch me do a tequila shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!"
    
21. "I'll put it on my credit card, so order another round for you and your friends."
    
22. "I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again."
    
23. "Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars, scotch and morning breath. You passed out again before brushing your teeth, ya' big silly!"
    
24. "You are so much smarter than my father!"
    
25. "If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch the football game!"