Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton both die on the same day. They both go before Saint Peter to find out if they will be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter must decide which of them will get in.

He asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven. She takes her top off and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect God has ever created, and I am sure it would please him to be able to see them every day for eternity."

Saint Peter thanks Dolly, and then asks Queen Elizabeth the same question. Queen Elizabeth then drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it. St. Peter says, "Okay, your majesty, you may go in."

Outraged, Dolly screams, "What in the hell was that all about? I showed you two of God's greatest creations. She performed a disgusting hygiene act, and she gets in and I don't."

"Sorry, Dolly," says St. Peter, "but a royal flush beats a pair any day."